AYREON: THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING (2013)
CD
I: Phase I: Singularity: 1) Prologue:
The Black Board; 2) The Theory Of Everything, Part 1; 3) Patterns; 4) The Prodigy's
World; 5) The Teacher's Discovery; 6) Love And Envy; 7) Progressive Waves; 8)
The Gift; 9) The Eleventh Dimension; 10) Inertia; 11) The Theory Of Everything;
Phase II: Symmetry: 12) The
Consultation; 13) Diagnosis; 14) The Argument; 15) The Rival's Dilemma; 16)
Surface Tension; 17) A Reason To Live; 18) Potential; 19) Quantum Chaos; 20)
Dark Medicine; 21) Alive!; 22) The Prediction.
CD
II: Phase III: Entanglement: 1)
Fluctuations; 2) Transformation; 3) Collision; 4) Side Effects; 5) Frequency Modulation;
6) Magnetism; 7) Quid Pro Quo; 8) String Theory; 9) Fortune?; Phase IV: Unification: 10) Mirror Of Dreams;
11) The Lighthouse; 12) The Argument; 13) The Parting; 14) The Visitation; 15)
The Breakthrough; 16) The Note; 17) The Uncertainty Principle; 18) Dark Energy;
19) The Theory Of Everything, Part 3; 20) The Blackboard (Reprise).
Well, I guess that if it was inevitable for a
concept album about «the theory of everything» to be produced in the first
place, it might have also been inevitable that Arjen Lucassen would have to be
the mastermind behind it. Let's face it, after all the Universal Migrators and Human
Equations there was simply nowhere left to run but to the very top of the
tower. This is the album to end all
albums, the ultimate in the ultimate, Ayreon's Lifehouse, Topographic
Oceans, and Mahler's 9th all rolled in one. A single listen to all four
sides in a row will give you the intellect of a Stephen Hawking, two listens
will empower you to rule the world, and a final third run will, beyond all
reasonable doubt, allow you to reweave the fabric of the universe at your whim.
But remember — only supreme, absolute concentration will get you anywhere with
this, and it takes intellectual skill, psychological training, and a really high degree of tolerance for kindergarten-level
sci-fi anecdotes to immerse yourself, freely and lovingly, in the world of
Ayreon.
I must say, though, that I honestly admire how
high the man has managed to raise the stakes. The very fact of The Theory Of Everything being yet
another double-CD rock opera is not surprising, but this may be the most
cohesive, story-dependent, and ideologically ambitious project in Ayreon
history so far, and among the usual horde of guests to help the artist bring it
to fruition, there are no less than four
prog veterans: Rick Wakeman plays piano throughout and has an «old school»
synth solo on ʽSurface Tensionʼ, Keith Emerson has an astral Moog solo on
ʽProgressive Wavesʼ, Steve Hackett adds a guitar solo on ʽThe Partingʼ, and
John Wetton sings the important part of The Psychiatrist. Not to mention, of
course, all the innumerable singers and players from newer, somewhat less
legendary prog and metal outfits (Dream Theater, Nightwish, Lacuna Coil etc.) —
ol' man Lucassen has lost none of his supernatural gravitational charisma.
The story itself needs no retelling and can be
partially deduced from simply glancing at the song titles — speaking of which,
the «songs» themselves are really just small individual parts of four lengthy
suites («Singularity», «Symmetry», «Entanglement», «Unification»), with track
separation engineered the way it is usually done with classical operas in the
CD age. The story seems to be drawing its inspiration as much from A Beautiful Mind as it does from Tommy, and has all the complexity,
originality, and general appeal of a second-rate comic book. The lyrics are
best left alone, and I mean it, really. Let me just give you a couple
samples: "(Prodigy:) A grand design in all its majesty / Vibrating
strings, quantum gravity / Why was I chosen? / What does it mean to me? / Tell
me why!" Or this: "(Rival:) One day I'll show them / I am the genius
/ One day the whole world will know / One day I'll show them / Who he really is
/ One day they'll know". Personally, I think there'd have been no harm in
jettisoning a few of the guest musicians and using the money to hire a good
librettist instead. But it's really all about the music, right?
Well, here comes the nasty part. The music
behind all this is... sort of a very typical, very smooth, very predictable
Ayreon sound. Not particularly heavy, although some tracks are well within the
limits of «power metal» stylistics; highly influenced by Celtic and other folk
traditions; well stocked up on electronics, since a proper, well-behaved «theory
of everything» should be able to look both to the past and to the future;
professionally-impeccably played and sung. But, just like on the previous
Ayreon album, there are no musical
ideas here that would justify the «progressive» tag — some of the riffs may be
«new» from a purely technical point, yet the ideology behind them is strictly
conservative. If there is any bar at
all to be raised on The Theory Of Everything,
it is only the self-satisfaction bar. It may well be so that, listening back to
those tapes, Lucassen finally said to himself — «here is the album I've always aspired to make, where everything is
in its right place and all the ingredients are mixed in just the right
proportions». So now you, the listener, can simply chuck all the previous
Ayreon albums out the window and satisfy yourself with this one. Heck, maybe you
can chuck all your albums out the window, period
— this is The Theory Of Everything,
after all, isn't it?
My biggest problem is with the «rock opera»
approach: all the pieces being so short, it is hard to get focused on any
particular one. In the classical paradigm, even the most story-dependent,
plot-driven operas usually have their individual overtures, arias, and
interludes that stand out like particularly bright brushstrokes on a
monotonous canvas. Here, apart from one or two recurrent themes (like the
Jethro Tull-style guitar/flute title theme), the trivial plot overshadows
everything, and, since it is downright impossible to empathize with the grossly
cartoonish «characters» that would probably be rejected even by Japan's
cheesiest anime studios, the «extra-melodic» factors do not compensate for the auxiliary
nature of the music. Which is a pity, because somehow I feel that at the core
of this sprawl, lies a potentially decent 40-minute instrumental album, with
friendly guest contributions from Wakeman, Emerson, and Hackett, a few
memorable themes, and relatively tasteful arrangements that combine impressive
playing technique with moral restraint, not letting the whole thing run into an
Yngwie Malmsteen flying circus extravaganza. But the «rock opera to end all
rock operas» fetish just does not let me verify this.
It must be said, however, that finally we have a musical composition
named ʽString Theoryʼ that is entirely dependent on... guess what? Yes, that's
right, the entire world of science has spent half a century wondering when
exactly the essence of the theory would finally be encapsulated in a
ninety-second string quartet retelling. Two problems, though: (a) the track
also relies on synthesizers, ruining the purity of the experiment; (b) where
the hell is ʽSuperstring Theoryʼ, with all the guest musicians pulling out
their violins and finally delivering that «lost chord» which Pete Townshend himself
was unable to find?
Granted, I even feel a little sorry that such
an ambitious project, upon completion, has largely remained limited to
specialized audiences and publicity sources — even the All-Music Guide has
failed to provide an appropriate review, and the record has mostly been picked
up on by various metal-oriented magazines, which is not justified at all, since
it is not at all a metal album. Then again, there is no use pretending, either,
that a rock album called The Theory Of
Everything can be perceived as anything other than (a) intentionally
humorous or (b) unintentionally ridiculous, and since Ayreon is very rarely
(a), that this here is most likely a case of solid (b). The only thing that,
from my point of view, excuses Lucassen is that the man combines the qualities
of a fanatical whacko and a hard-working professional. And, from that angle, The Theory Of Everything is one of the whackiest and the most professional records he
ever made. The kind of crap that you just don't come across on a daily basis —
like a white rhino's, or something like that.
Check "The Theory Of Everything" (CD) on Amazon
Check "The Theory Of Everything" (MP3) on Amazon
This is the first Ayreon album which didn't do anything for me. Even the generally boring "Actual Fantasy" had a few things I enjoyed, and I quite liked the numeric one. But this one... After a few listens I've just grown more and more bored with it. I've come to know that there is nothing on it to look forward to, and this deprived me of any stimulus to return to it. A pity, since most of the older Ayreon albums are my all-time favorites because of their melodic inventiveness.
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