ATTILA (BILLY JOEL): ATTILA (1970)
1) California Flash; 2) Wonder
Woman; 3) Revenge Is Sweet; 4) Amplifier Fire; 5) Rollin' Home; 6) Tear This
Castle Down; 7) Holy Moses; 8) Brain Invasion.
From time to time, critics get bored and go on a
hunt to find «the worst album of all time». As a rule, the hunt process does
not involve the critics specifying what they mean by «worst», so, depending on
one's own criteria, they might return with either Rod Stewart's Blondes Have More Fun or Sgt. Pepper hanging on their belt — no
matter, really, as long as the album seems «outstandingly» something.
Outstandingly pretentious, outstandingly unprofessional, outstandingly
overproduced, outstandingly conceptually-idiotic, whatever. You cannot take,
say, a Backstreet Boys album and declare it the worst ever just because it is
so utterly boring. Boring is not outstanding. The album has to scream I'M THE WORST right in your
cringing face.
Viewed from that angle, Attila is as easy a piece of game as they come. Recorded in 1970,
at the peak or near-peak of trendiness of all things «heavy» and «progressive»,
it features young aspiring keyboardist and singer Billy Joel, his pal Jon
Small on percussion, and... that's it.
An organ / drums combo, with Billy, like Ray Manzarek, supplying the required
bass parts with his second (sometimes third) hand. A unique experiment, to be
sure, within the «rock» world at least, and one that would surely have to be
loved, if it succeeded, or hated, if it failed. Guess which.
Ever since the album's release, it has quite
consistently been featured on all sorts of «worst ever» lists, with its status
currently codified by S. Th. Erlewine in the All-Music Guide: «there have been
many bad ideas in rock, but none match the colossal stupidity of Attila» — a phrase that, I am sure of
it, has increased Attila's popularity
twentyfold and sends dozens, if not hundreds, of curiosity seekers and cheap
thrill aficionados in search of used copies or faithful uploads of the album on
a yearly, if not daily, basis. Who could ever stay away from savoring The Most
Colossal Stupidity in Rock? The sight of the two thoroughly stoned Huns in quasi-authentic
attire alone, standing as they are inside a meat locker, would be enough to
ensure proper cult status.
What is more
interesting, however, is whether any of these people would actually want to
agree with Erlewine's and other critics' assessments. As far as mine is
concerned, I find nothing inherently wrong in the «idea» of Attila, and even find a few things to
like about how the idea was realized — the one major flaw of the record is its
monotonousness, as the same basic emotional state is being generated and
explored on virtually every song. For
instance, with Billy being a competent organist, you'd think they might have
allocated a couple spots for «softer» stuff — mixing in some gospel, soul, or
classical influences. In fact, knowing Billy's subsequent reputation, you
would probably very much expect a couple
spots for «softer» stuff! But no, what you get throughout is «Billy Joel, The Organ
Godzilla», and as fun as it may be to watch Godzilla blast its way through
several blocks of Manhattan, you'd probably fall asleep midway through, were
you forced to watch the beast's entire journey from Battery Park to Isham Park.
That said, it is downright hilarious to see the dinosauric duo open up with a set of
distorted, overdriven organ hiccups that clearly mimic the intro to Hendrix's
ʽVoodoo Chile (Slight Return)ʼ — but only to serve as the opening fanfare for a
song about a... male stripper? Whatever. Along the way, as Billy unfurls the
silly saga of «California Flash», he makes his organ squeal, grunt, roar, and
make just about every aggressive noise that the poor instrument is capable of
when connected to every amp, pedal, and special effect generator that could be
afforded by two struggling barbarian musicians operating from inside a meat
locker. However, I have no idea what the aforementioned Mr. Erlewine is
talking about when he speaks of a «wall of white noise» — no matter how much
gadgetry Billy has hooked up to his keys, he is most clearly playing them; and, while we're at it,
the funky bass riff he blasts out at about 1:06 into the song is awesome.
Fairly often, Attila sounds like Gillan-era Deep Purple with Gillan (and
Blackmore, and Glover) removed — similarities between Jon Lord's incorporation,
use, and abuse of classical motifs and Billy's «experimental» approach are
inescapable, although, to be fair, it must be noted that In Rock, on which Lord finally consented to adopt a heavy distorted
sound, was only released a month prior to Attila,
and it is not even clear if Billy and Jon knew at all about Deep Purple's existence
on the other side of the ocean. In any case, extended organ jamming on tracks
such as ʽAmplifier Fireʼ and ʽBrain Invasionʼ is stylistically quite similar to
the lengthy escapades one hears from Lord on early Purple jams, and even though
Joel's technique and complexity seems to be slightly (but not tremendously) below
Jon's, Attila is not to be
castigated for being inept or incompetent — both men had enough qualification
to work in any second-rate «progressive» band of the time. The question is,
with so many first-rate progressive
bands around, why would we actually care about their employment?
Ultimately, it all depends on whether you
believe that a combo like this could actually «rock». This is, after all, what
they set out to do in the first place — «tear the castle down» with «amplifier
fire» in an all-out «brain invasion», «Holy Moses»! There is no place for
subtlety, spiritual depth, or contemplation here. Even a fourty-minute album by
Hendrix himself with that much brawn
on the outside would be capable of melting your brains — now what about a
fourty-minute album where, instead of inventive electric guitar soloing by one
of the most visionary players who ever lived, you get formally competent, but utterly
derivative distorted organ soloing by a guy who would later go on to give us...
well, you know.
I have read statements that complained how
Joel's organ tones on this album gave people headaches — a little amusing,
really, for anybody living in a post-Metal
Machine Music world. Much more troubling is to realize that the songs work
as «unintentional comedy», reminding one of parodies
on the whole «let's rock the classics» movement, like ELP's ʽNutrockerʼ, except
that the only people in the world who do not realize the album's parodic value
are its very authors. But on the other hand, I also believe that at least half
of these songs do feature interesting riffs, and that in terms of composition
alone, Attila is hardly worse than a
large part of Billy's subsequent output. It's all wasted — on a curious, but
inadequate enterprise, but «worst album ever?» Come now, Uriah Heep's Very 'Eavy, Very 'Umble was released at
the same time, shared many of Attila's
problems (silliness, pretentiousness, extra overdrive) and actually had fewer
memorable riffs. Just because the band actually had its own guitar player should not automatically act as a status
raiser. And a rotting head on the album cover is not too much of an upgrade
over a couple of «Huns» in a meat locker, unless you're a vegetarian and a necrophile at the same time. Oh,
and the rating? Well, thumbs down, without any provocative iconoclasm,
but a mildly amused one. Still worth a listen, if only to capture just a bit
more of that ultraviolet from 1970.
Rather odd that you didn't bring up comparisons with Atomic Rooster. After all, Vincent Crane essentially fulfilled the same function as lead keyboardist and ad hoc bassist. Of course, Rooster's one undisputed masterpiece, "Death Walks Behind You", blows this tripe out of the water, and Crane managed to avoid a subsequent 40 year career in Adult Bubbleg - err, excuse me, Adult Contemporary.
ReplyDeleteYes, but Atomic Rooster also had a guitar player at all times. No match for the hardcore approach of the Huns!
DeleteYou mean without Gillan, Blackmore and Glover.
ReplyDeleteI'm just telling you before our friend MNb calls you on it :P
Deep Purple Mark I gave concerts in New York in December 1968, so perhaps that was BJ's inspiration iso In Rock.
ReplyDeleteI tried this album once and thought it a complete bore. Now that's true for the first side of Very 'Eavy Very 'Umble as well. The second side though is not only silly, pretentious and overdriven, but also great fun. Plus no organ on Real Turned On.
Deep Purple MK1 were actually more popular in the US than in the UK. They had a couple of hits here.
DeleteA fair review: it's a bit ridiculous, but fun at times, kind of like a b-splatter flick from Italy that takes itself too seriously. Not the worst album ever, but a fun piece of trivia.
ReplyDeleteJoel allegedly tried to kill himself by drinking furniture polish after the reviews of this album came out and stole his drummer's wife.
I wonder if this means you going through BJ's catalog? Your previous mentions of him seem to indicate you are not fond of him at all, which is not an uncommon stance.
ReplyDeleteIts funny, I always see BJ as a less ambitious Elton John, but the two really dont relate to each other outside of being piano men. I personally think BJ's melodic ability outweighs his drawbacks and that he has albums almost completely devoid of said drawbacks. Of course many just find him plain obnoxious =)
That it's tagged under Billy Joel seems like an auspicious sign of that.
DeleteMy sympathies to the man are borne out of geographical bias, and there's no denying he's responsible for some of the most dismal dreck to ever be dredged from a piano, but his prime he truly was a fairly talented storyteller and a stellar instrumentalist.
If ol' Georgie can find it in his heart to forgive Rod Stewart and Phil Collins for their transgressions, I'm sure he'll find plenty to love. Of course, that'll start to run dry around 1980, ha ha ha.
Good review. If anyone wants to listen to a good organ and drum duo, you should check out Hansson and Karlsson.
ReplyDelete