Elvis Presley: Paradise, Hawaiian Style

ELVIS PRESLEY: PARADISE, HAWAIIAN STYLE (1966)

1) Paradise, Hawaiian Style; 2) Queenie Wahineʼs Papaya; 3) Scratch My Back; 4) Drums Of The Islands; 5) Datinʼ; 6) A Dogʼs Life; 7) House Of Sand; 8) Stop Where You Are; 9) This Is My Heaven; 10) Sand Castles.

General verdict: The good news is that there is not as much «Hawaiian Style» here as you might be afraid to expect. The bad news is thereʼs not much style here, period.

Looking at Elvisʼ serious expression on the album sleeve while listening to the music concealed within, I canʼt help but feeling like now I finally understand, after all these years, what Rodinʼs Thinker is thinking about after all. Beyond any doubt, what is troubling him is the most urgent, most important, most cosmic question of them all — does Queenie Wahineʼs Papaya truly rate higher than pineapple, pumpkin, or poy? And if we pick her papaya and hencewith play the game "Existence" to the end, are we truly guaranteed to put Queenie Wahine in perfect perpetual joy?

Perhaps if more people established such vital links back in 1966, Paradise, Hawaiian Style might have shared a better fortune than sinking without a trace, at best ignored and at worst maligned by critics and fans alike. Unfortunately, the movie still managed to make half a million dollars worth of profit, and the soundtrack still managed to sell 250,000 copies, all of which was fairly low, but enough to convince the Elvis Hit Machine that the formula was still working, and that it made more sense to stick to the tried and true than take any chances with the ongoing musical and cultural revolutions. Besides, itʼs hard to blame the Machine — after all, Hawaiʼi werenʼt any less popular as a tourist attraction in 1966 than they were in 1962, and with people having forgotten everything about Blue Hawaii, why not refresh their memory again?

Surprisingly, though, other than the really stupid tongue-twister masquerading as a song about «Queenie Wahine», the soundtrack is largely free of frontally obvious embarrassments (the ones usually consisting of trying too hard to make Elvis sound «hilarious» or trying too hard to fit him into some native costume or other). There are fewer genuinely cringeworthy moments here than I counted on either Harum Scarum, with its mock-Orientalism, or Frankie And Johnny, with its Buffalo Bill caricatures. Instead, it simply recreates and amplifies the standard flaw of that whole period — once again, they hire the same old team of corporate songwriters who do not give a flying fuck (sorry) about turning in quality work. As usual, each and every song on here falls back on old tropes and clichés, and not a single one needs to be remembered because they are all just pale imitations of past glories, be it ballad, rocker, or «catchy» pop song.

I mean, seriously — if you were to put a gun to my head and force me to declare at least one «winner», my innate sense of honesty would probably see my brains splattered on the wall rather than say, «...uh... uh... I dunno... ʽA Dogʼs Lifeʼ, perhaps? — no, not really, no». What can you do about the combination of a rigidly fluffy atmosphere with hooks that have all the freshness of a dead dog nicely stewing under a scorching Arizona sun? I cannot even bring myself to mentioning any of these tunes by name because, seriously, none of them deserves it. All of this only goes to reinforce my suspicion that «Paradise» is a very boring place indeed, and «Hawaiian Style» just throws some grass skirts into the pot, but does not make it any less boring.