THE BLOOD BROTHERS: CRIMES (2004)
1) Feed Me To The Forest; 2)
Trash Flavored Trash; 3) Love Rhymes With Hideous Car Wreck; 4) Peacock
Skeleton With Crooked Feathers; 5) Teen Heat; 6) Rats And Rats And Rats For
Candy; 7) Crimes; 8) My First Kiss At The Public Execution; 9) Live At The
Apocalypse Cabaret; 10) Beautiful Horses; 11) Wolf Party; 12) Celebrator; 13)
Devastator.
Would we expect one of America's angriest bands
to miss out on some of America's greatest blunders? Obviously, The Blood
Brothers just couldn't resist dedicating the near-entirety of their fourth
album to the social, political, and military developments associated with the
Bush administration —and, in the process, catching a corner of the public eye,
as this was their first record to actually hit the lower ranges of the charts.
Just as obviously, they would never do it the straightforward way, like a Bad
Religion or something, but nobody in 2004 could miss the message behind lines
like "neon black tanks grope the skyline" or "every soldier's
spewing black cum from their victory hard on" (ouch, tough one).
Musically, Crimes
enhances some of the «softening» tendencies of the previous album — of all
Blood Brothers records so far, it is easily the most «accessible», provided you
can stomach the traditional ugliness of the vocals (for the record, I still
cannot). Many of the songs drop the fast tempos and super-speedy flash-changes
of riffs, leads, and time signatures — for instance, ʽLive At The Apocalypse
Cabaretʼ is a dark, melodic
guitar-and-piano dirge, where it is only the tendency to fall back upon the
brothers' trademark insane scream-o-logy that reminds us of who we are
listening to; and the title track, also recorded in an oppressive-moody
fashion, even foregoes most of the screaming, as if they were really interested
in conveying the lyrical message through your ears rather than the lyrics sheet.
The lead single from the album, ʽLove Rhymes
With Hideous Car Wreckʼ, could almost qualify as a pop song — standard 4/4
beat, normal guitars, vocal harmonies, and an almost catchy chorus, that is, if
catchiness may be conveyed through caterwauling. Unfortunately, I do not
believe this compromise really works, because the resulting melody is boring as
heck, a guitar/bass/angry vocal combo that's been done a million times in the era
of New Wave and college rock; and the caterwauling, reaching its peak on the
"love, love, love... rhymes with pity now" chorus, is so unnaturally
affected and irritating that the message, if there is one, seems wasted.
The same opinion is applicable to just about every bit of the album that tries to shy
away from the old formula — for instance, the quasi-sea-shanty introduction to
ʽDevastatorʼ. I do not understand how, if they really wanted to strike a chord
here, anybody could be potentially impressed and «devastated» by the lyrical
imagery of "neon black tanks" and all that, when both singers sing as
if their nuts were being tightly held in a vise... okay, so that just might be the point, but even so, it all sounds
artificial and exaggerated.
So, to be frank, if there is anything to be
preferred here, I much prefer the band at their old game, fast'n'furious, such
as the second part of ʽDevastatorʼ
("everybody needs a little devastation!"), or the frantic apocalyptic
gallop of ʽBeautiful Horsesʼ (comparing the state of humanity to a particularly
mad race where, no matter how fast you ride, you still "collapse and come
in fucking last"), or, if I am very
hard pressed to select an «experimental» track, the quasi-industrial grind of
ʽFeed Me To The Forestʼ, beginning and ending in a nightmarish swirl of roaring
cogs, springs, engines, and furnaces. In other words, whenever they try
«subtlety», I wish they didn't; whenever they do not, they are predictable, but
come across as more adequate.
Still, even though the fast'n'furious on Crimes quantitatively overrides the
subtly-ugly, a thumbs up judgement is out of the question. The main problem
with the Blood Brothers was not their lack of accessibility or purpose — so now
that Crimes has adapted their
«mental ward on tour» image to sociopolitical reality, this is hardly a reason
for frantic applause and reconsideration. The main problem is that the image
was never sufficiently strengthened either with a firm melodic base or with
recognizable musical innovation. All they had going for them was technicality,
lyrical skills, and an ability to produce ugly on-key/off-key screaming for
extended amounts of time. To this, Crimes
adds «accessible relevance» — but forgive this here reviewer for being
old-fashioned, as he would rather have Neil Young's Living With War for «accessible relevance». Other than that, it's
all been done before, and done better.
Put it this way: some reviewer dude on Amazon
wrote that ʽLive At The Apocalypse Cabaretʼ «almost sounds like a cat being
strangled singing a Rosetta Tharpe cover)». If this description fits into your
definition of «awesome», Crimes is
totally your cup of tea. However, personally, I have no idea why a cat being strangled would ever
dream of singing a Rosetta Tharpe cover, and even less of an idea of why I would have any interest in hearing a
strangled cat singing a Rosetta Tharpe cover — certainly not when I could be
simply listening to a Rosetta Tharpe original instead. And last, but not
least, I have totally-absolutely-whatsoever no idea why, in order to fully comprehend,
abhor, and revile the absurdity, amorality, and apocalypticity of our present world
situation, I would have to witness a strangled cat sing a Rosetta Tharpe
cover. Then again, on some level of
universal existence these are merely signs of extreme close-mindedness, I
guess.
Check "Crimes" (CD) on Amazon
Check "Crimes (MP3)" on Amazon
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